Mind Over Matter: Setting Goals and Conquering the New Year

Why is it so hard to meet the goals we set for the new year?

One thing I have found on a personal level as well as a coaching level is we tend to create goals that are too broad. We have these dreams of doing BIG things in the year, and by December 31st, we will do the damn thing! We want to get in better shape, we want to eat healthier, we want to run a marathon, etc., but what we don't look at when setting these (very normal and achievable) goals is HOW we are going to get in better shape, eat healthier, or be able to finish a marathon. Our goals are too broad, therefore when we don't meet them early on in the year, we get burnt out and decide to drop the goals that we have set for ourselves.

Start SMALL!

I am not here to tell you that your goals are too big, but I am here to tell you that you need to create SMALLER goals that will help you reach the larger goal. Have you ever tried to build IKEA furniture without the directions? That is essentially what it is like to have a LARGE goal for the year without a plan. Your smaller goals (or your plan on HOW you are going to hit that large goal for the year) are the instructions that come inside the IKEA box. Without the directions, it is possible for you to build that piece of furniture, but it will probably take you longer than you anticipated, cause a lot of frustration and anger, and you will probably end up with a missing leg on your dresser or a drawer that doesn't fully open correctly with a few screws left over that you just know you needed to put somewhere.

Without a PLAN, those large goals are going to be very frustrating to achieve, and with frustration comes the lack of self confidence. You'll start to doubt why you even started this goal in the first place. Plant a seed of doubt on a New Year's goal, and you are turning down the road of easily giving up on those very achievable goals you set for the year. No one wants a New Year's goal to end in February, so let's talk about how to break down your goal into "bite-sized" pieces.

Make an action plan!

I will take you through one of my New Year's goals to show you how breaking down a larger goal only leads to success and more confidence in yourself and your own abilities. One of my goals for the year is to read more. This is a very vague, yet very achievable goal.

First I need to reflect on what I am currently doing in regards to this goal. Am I reading at all? Am I enjoying what I am reading? What stands in my way of reading "more" than I am now? Once you have established a starting point, decide exactly what the goal looks like to you. Reading "more" for me, means I start and finish at least one book per month. Maybe your goal is to run a marathon. Do you want to just finish the marathon in the allotted time, or do you have a goal time that you want to meet? Figure out the specifics that work for YOU.

Once you have established the specifics, break the goal down even further. For me to meet my goal of starting and finishing at least one book per month, I have created a goal to start reading a little bit every day. You take your large goal and break it down in to smaller goals in smaller time periods. This week, I am focusing on reading at least 30 minutes per day. Last week, I focused on actually purchasing a book and reading at least one chapter. The smaller goals can build over time, but the more you build off of them, the closer to achieving your yearly goal you will be.

Find your accountability person/people!

I have found that the more I talk about my goals, the more likely I am to continuously work toward achieving them. It is scary to make changes in your life. Maybe some people won't agree with them or give you a hard time about them. Maybe you are intimidated by not being able to achieve your goal, so you always have one foot out the door. The louder you are with your goals--as in the more people you talk to out loud, the more you are sharing your wins AND your losses, and the more frequently you are doing so--the more likely you are to continue to motivate yourself or have people on the outside cheering you on. As someone who constantly feels nervous about sharing her goals due to fear of failure, I am here to tell you that those fears are just evil forces/the devil/whatever you believe trying to strip away your greatness. Those fears are not real unless you give them power. 2023 is the year to focus on you, focus on your mindset and channeling your inner badass that we all know is there, you just have to believe it.

Once you find your accountability people, rely on them. I saw a quote yesterday talking about relying on your people to remind you of who you are when you are having an off day, and I thought it was such a powerful message. No one can be on top of their game every second of every day. You need others. We are social creatures that rely heavily on others for comfort in failures as well as success. Don't isolate yourself or think "I can do this alone!" Maybe you can... but all professional athletes have coaches. Michael Jordan didn't get to Michael Jordan-status by isolating himself. He leaned on his friends, his family, his coaches for support as well as accountability when he needed it. Find the people who will be there for you and support you in your goals, and rely on them! The louder your cheering section is, the more motivated you will be to hit those goals that you set.

Don't settle for failure.

Lastly, it is okay to make mistakes. There are 365 days in a year. There will be days, maybe even weeks, when you don't hit your goal or feel motivated to work toward your goal. The faster you begin shifting your mindset from "I failed this week, therefore I failed the entire year" to "I failed this week, but here is what I will do differently next week to meet the goals I have set" the faster you will realize the internal battles you struggle with are only mind games that your fear tries to play with you to keep you from your greatness. Failure is the only way we can learn and grow, so don't be sad about your failures, learn from them. Grow from them. Become better because of them.

The new year is yours for the taking, so set those goals you've been putting off for the past year/few years, break them down to smaller, more achievable steps, find your cheering section, and get to work!